Funny Dog Jokes And Quotes

“A lawyer is just like an attack dog, only without a conscience.”
Tom Clancy

“I just bought a Chihuahua. It's the dog for lazy people. You don't have to walk it. Just hold it out the window and squeeze.”
Anthony Clark

“I know that dogs are pack animals, but it is difficult to imagine a pack of standard poodles... and if there was such a thing as a pack of standard poodles, where would they rove to? Bloomingdale's”
Yvonne Clifford

“Sometimes I feel like a fire hydrant looking at a pack of dogs.”
Bill Clinton

“Everyone's pet is the most outstanding.
This begets mutual blindness.”
Jean Cocteau

“Our late lamented English setter was spoilt, goofy, terrifyingly tenacious and possessed a totally unbridled sex drive. If he got on the trail of a bitch, he would charge across three main roads, race twenty miles until he caught up with her and then mount her from the wrong end.”
Jilly Cooper

“A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: "Can I help, sir?" "No thanks," says the blind bloke. "Just looking."
Tommy Cooper

I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said
"My dog's died."
Tommy Cooper

“I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home who answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that
comes home late every night.”
Marie Corelli